Maybe it is because I have spent every minute of my spare time lately at the dentist with a broken jaw. Maybe it is because I have a two year old, who has mastered whining for what he wants. Maybe it is
because I am homesick for NWA and all of the friends and family I left behind. Maybe it is because I
am not working now (for the first time in my life) and I feel useless because of it. Maybe it is because I do, in fact, spend my entire day catering to a two year old and I rarely have adult interaction. Maybe it is because I have stopped losing weight and found comfort in chocolate (guilty pleasure) lately. Maybe I need medication...HA!
BUT I HAVE THE BLUES!
I have just felt very unsettled lately. I miss NWA. I miss my friends/family there. I miss feeling safe where I live. I miss having friends who I saw, or at least heard from on a daily basis. I miss knowing how to get somewhere when I leave my house. I miss being only an hour away from my family when I need a hug. I miss my children growing up with their grand parents, aunts and uncles, and cousins.
Don't get me wrong: The move to LR has been well worth it. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I get to stay home with my babies and the security of that is priceless, honestly!
We have made a great life for ourselves here and we have met friends that I can't imagine life without, but I am still entitled to miss home, right?
When will LR be home for me? Will that ever happen for me or will I always feel home sick? :(
Poor me, right? ;)
No one wants to read this, I know. No one wants to write it or feel it either, though. I felt like being heard would maybe help me to get out of this rut. Just say a prayer for me ladies. I WANT to get past this, I do, but I feel stuck.
Just stay in prayer with me that this will pass and the negativity and feelings of being home sick will go away.
Psalm 40:1-3
" I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him."
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Zoo Snooze 2012
As members of the LR zoo, our family had the unique opportunity of staying the night at the zoo. We jumped on the chance to do something so special with the kiddos. We signed up and then realized that, we don't even have a tent! LOL Just last year, we gave our 12 person tent to a neighbor because we don't really camp.
Our great friends, the Sproles, let us borrow their tent, air mattresses, sleeping bags...etc. and because of them, we were able to camp super comfortably. Thanks Kathy and Robert! ;)
I was dreading the camping part, honestly. I have NEVER survived an entire night in a tent. I would always whine so much that my parents would take me to my grandmas or I would end up sleeping in my dad's truck! LOL I am a "city girl" for sure. I had SO MUCH FUN though! From beginning to end, it was a blast! They had several animals come out and the kids got to play with them and see them up close. We ate s'mores by a campfire and yes, we slept in a tent...ALL NIGHT! ;)
I won't say there weren't challenges: Eli cried for 20 minutes when we laid him down and kept up the entire group (all 40 or so of us) until he finally got settled. He kept falling all over the park. Everywhere we went, he would trip and re injure his knees, which were already banged up and bloody. Drew got huge puffy eyes (he needs a bubble) and even a temp. of 102.6 in the night, but nothing ibuprofen couldn't cure. ;) The bathroom was about a quarter of a mile away (which was rough when three kids woke up needing to pee!), but in the end...nothing could have possibly ruined this experience. It was seriously one of the most fun things we have ever done with the kids and I am so glad we did it, despite our fears. :)
Here are some pictures from our Boo Snooze adventure! We can't wait for the next one to come around! :)
Our great friends, the Sproles, let us borrow their tent, air mattresses, sleeping bags...etc. and because of them, we were able to camp super comfortably. Thanks Kathy and Robert! ;)
I was dreading the camping part, honestly. I have NEVER survived an entire night in a tent. I would always whine so much that my parents would take me to my grandmas or I would end up sleeping in my dad's truck! LOL I am a "city girl" for sure. I had SO MUCH FUN though! From beginning to end, it was a blast! They had several animals come out and the kids got to play with them and see them up close. We ate s'mores by a campfire and yes, we slept in a tent...ALL NIGHT! ;)
I won't say there weren't challenges: Eli cried for 20 minutes when we laid him down and kept up the entire group (all 40 or so of us) until he finally got settled. He kept falling all over the park. Everywhere we went, he would trip and re injure his knees, which were already banged up and bloody. Drew got huge puffy eyes (he needs a bubble) and even a temp. of 102.6 in the night, but nothing ibuprofen couldn't cure. ;) The bathroom was about a quarter of a mile away (which was rough when three kids woke up needing to pee!), but in the end...nothing could have possibly ruined this experience. It was seriously one of the most fun things we have ever done with the kids and I am so glad we did it, despite our fears. :)
Here are some pictures from our Boo Snooze adventure! We can't wait for the next one to come around! :)
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Cabin Fever!
I have a sever case of cabin fever.
I have been stuck in the house for so long, that I think I am getting SICK because of it!
I literally go through bouts of nausea at the thought of spending any more time in the house!
I want so badly to get out and spend some time with our play group...I miss them so, but I am in so much pain, I can't imagine putting on a smile for any amount of time. :( This has been miserable!
On top of everything I am dealing with, Eli has started getting up when the kids get up for school, so now his nap time falls right when play dates do, so I'm not sure how this is ever going to work out. :(
I guess as he gets older, it will be easier to adjust his nap schedule around our plans, but at the ripe age of two, this isn't even a possibility. :(
Just keep us in your thoughts and prayers. When you are in pain, your outlook is skewed and I am really struggling right now.
Love you guys!
I have been stuck in the house for so long, that I think I am getting SICK because of it!
I literally go through bouts of nausea at the thought of spending any more time in the house!
I want so badly to get out and spend some time with our play group...I miss them so, but I am in so much pain, I can't imagine putting on a smile for any amount of time. :( This has been miserable!
On top of everything I am dealing with, Eli has started getting up when the kids get up for school, so now his nap time falls right when play dates do, so I'm not sure how this is ever going to work out. :(
I guess as he gets older, it will be easier to adjust his nap schedule around our plans, but at the ripe age of two, this isn't even a possibility. :(
Just keep us in your thoughts and prayers. When you are in pain, your outlook is skewed and I am really struggling right now.
Love you guys!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Dr. Jolley doesn't make me feel very Jolly.
Since returning from spring break, I have spent approximately 9 hours at the dentist. I have been putting off the inevitable for many years. When I had braces, some 7 years ago, I was told that I needed to have my 20 year old fillings replaced with crowns. I was in no hurry to have dental work done. Except for said fillings (there are three), I had never had anything done in my mouth and I was NOT anxious to!
I am still not anxious to...:(
A few weeks ago, I went for my routine cleaning and my dentist told me that I better get on it or else I was looking at root canals on top of my necessary crowns. YIKES! I immediately scheduled an appointment! LOL
I scheduled the appointment for right when we got back from spring break vacation.
When I went in for the appointment, I thought..."This isn't going to be so bad". I had totally psyched myself out and I was in tears by the time I got my first (of seven) shots!
Little did I know, the shots were the easy part.
They started to "drill" (I don't know the technical term, but it felt like drilling to me) my 20 year old fillings out and on top of smelling smoke and seeing a cloud of smoke hovering over my mouth, I started to gag on the taste of metal! YUCK! I was overwhelmed with the taste of metal and pieces of metal and tooth kept falling to the back of my throat, causing me to gag even more.
I would open my eyes and see shadows of debris being sucked into the vacuum and I couldn't even handle it. I was so grossed out! The mouth has got to be the nastiest thing EVER!
My teeth were super sensitive once they were "exposed". They put the temps on and I was tender, but it was to be expected, right? I left and was completely unaware what was in my future.
That night, I was in PAIN! I am one of those people that handle pain pretty well. I am able to grit my teeth through nearly anything. I have had surgeries without pain medication, children without epidurals, even a hysterectomy without complaining...but I have NEVER felt pain in my mouth before and let me be the first to admit that I have been a baby!!!
Pain in your mouth has got to be one of the most painful kind of pains! You can't get away from it. My entire head hurts. It even hurts in my ear and down my throat.
I was worried that this couldn't be normal. I contacted a good friend (that I happened to used to work with at a dental office). She said this is normal and my teeth are in shock. I had to wait it out that first night, but as long as everything was okay with the teeth (assuming I didn't need root canals etc.), I should feel much better the next day.
I barely slept that first night and in the morning, I was worse than I could have ever imagined. I couldn't open my mouth and anyone that knows me, knows how miserable that must have been for me. ;)
I grabbed my purse and headed straight to the dentist office as soon as they opened.
After a quick exam, the dentist decided I was/am actually experiencing complications with TMJ. Apparently, keeping my mouth open for the dental work triggered an existing condition that I already had (that I was actually made aware of 7 years earlier when I got my braces on) called TMJ.
Since that first appointment, I have had multiple exams and even worn a temporary tray that is supposed to help the pain (but it hasn't!). Now I am being told that I need to go through a 3 month treatment with some trays and then braces. UGH!
I can't even start this treatment until I have all three permanent crowns in place!! I get the permanents for two of them tomorrow and then the temporary for the other on Wednesday and then 2 1/2 weeks later, I will have all three permanents in place! This has been a long, trying process and I am in a lot of pain.
Please pray for me to have continued strength through this process. I am completely exhausted from all of this and I have been taking 3200 MG of Ibuprofen a day! That can't possibly be good for a person. :(
Wish me luck!
Love you guys!
I am still not anxious to...:(
A few weeks ago, I went for my routine cleaning and my dentist told me that I better get on it or else I was looking at root canals on top of my necessary crowns. YIKES! I immediately scheduled an appointment! LOL
I scheduled the appointment for right when we got back from spring break vacation.
When I went in for the appointment, I thought..."This isn't going to be so bad". I had totally psyched myself out and I was in tears by the time I got my first (of seven) shots!
Little did I know, the shots were the easy part.
They started to "drill" (I don't know the technical term, but it felt like drilling to me) my 20 year old fillings out and on top of smelling smoke and seeing a cloud of smoke hovering over my mouth, I started to gag on the taste of metal! YUCK! I was overwhelmed with the taste of metal and pieces of metal and tooth kept falling to the back of my throat, causing me to gag even more.
I would open my eyes and see shadows of debris being sucked into the vacuum and I couldn't even handle it. I was so grossed out! The mouth has got to be the nastiest thing EVER!
My teeth were super sensitive once they were "exposed". They put the temps on and I was tender, but it was to be expected, right? I left and was completely unaware what was in my future.
That night, I was in PAIN! I am one of those people that handle pain pretty well. I am able to grit my teeth through nearly anything. I have had surgeries without pain medication, children without epidurals, even a hysterectomy without complaining...but I have NEVER felt pain in my mouth before and let me be the first to admit that I have been a baby!!!
Pain in your mouth has got to be one of the most painful kind of pains! You can't get away from it. My entire head hurts. It even hurts in my ear and down my throat.
I was worried that this couldn't be normal. I contacted a good friend (that I happened to used to work with at a dental office). She said this is normal and my teeth are in shock. I had to wait it out that first night, but as long as everything was okay with the teeth (assuming I didn't need root canals etc.), I should feel much better the next day.
I barely slept that first night and in the morning, I was worse than I could have ever imagined. I couldn't open my mouth and anyone that knows me, knows how miserable that must have been for me. ;)
I grabbed my purse and headed straight to the dentist office as soon as they opened.
After a quick exam, the dentist decided I was/am actually experiencing complications with TMJ. Apparently, keeping my mouth open for the dental work triggered an existing condition that I already had (that I was actually made aware of 7 years earlier when I got my braces on) called TMJ.
Since that first appointment, I have had multiple exams and even worn a temporary tray that is supposed to help the pain (but it hasn't!). Now I am being told that I need to go through a 3 month treatment with some trays and then braces. UGH!
I can't even start this treatment until I have all three permanent crowns in place!! I get the permanents for two of them tomorrow and then the temporary for the other on Wednesday and then 2 1/2 weeks later, I will have all three permanents in place! This has been a long, trying process and I am in a lot of pain.
Please pray for me to have continued strength through this process. I am completely exhausted from all of this and I have been taking 3200 MG of Ibuprofen a day! That can't possibly be good for a person. :(
Wish me luck!
Love you guys!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
What Vacation??
So much has happened in the last 6 weeks (since I last posted) and I would love to go back and do a recap, so that I could consider myself up to date, but frankly, the last 6 weeks are a blur.
Right before spring break, the kids got a stomach bug and David and I got to enjoy said stomach bug, while we should have been enjoying our spring break vacation to Dallas. Speaking of spring break vacation... David and I were planning to go to Paris. We had planned our trip, site seeing and all, when I realized I never changed my name on my passport! UGH! The only way to get it rushed, was to drive to Hot Springs and pay triple for my passport, so I opted to wait. I know they say 6-8 weeks, but the first time I got my passport, it came within two weeks, so I was hopeful that the same thing would happen. Apparently March is a popular time for passport renewals and such because it did not come in time. :( We changed our plans last minute to Dallas. (Let me also add here that my passport came THE day before we left for Dallas and would have been leaving for Paris!)
We tried to have good attitudes about it. Dallas is ugly, but shopping is fun...and there's always Six Flags to cheer you up. This was going to be the highlight of my vacation because I have never been to Six Flags and I am an amusement park junkie! I could live at SDC, but we won't even go into all of that.
As we entered into gloomy Dallas, we were welcomed by storm clouds (which kept us away from Six Flags) and David's upset tummy (which kept us away from every where else!-lol). Thats right! What's vacation without a stomach bug?!
For the first two days, David was SICK! He slept all the way there and by Monday, we could finally eat a meal together. LOL Tuesday, the meals stopped abruptly when it was my turn to get sick! I have never been so sick in my life!
When David got sick, he FELT like he was going to be sick. He was miserable...nausea is the worst! But when I got sick, I GOT sick!!! Over the course of two days, I lost several pounds and tipped the housekeeping staff A LOT! I felt so bad that they had to clean up after me, but they wouldn't let me do it! They insisted. In the end, it was probably best, but I still wonder whether those sweet ladies got sick the next day...
On Wednesday, I was well enough to leave the hotel, but still couldn't eat yet. We went shopping, but even that wasn't enough to make me feel better. I spent half the day in the bathroom, trying to make sure I didn't throw up in front of an audience, but alas, no relief that day.
On Thursday, I was ready to get out! I finally felt hungry and I couldn't wait to stuff my face. My eyes were bigger than my shrunken stomach though. LOL I ordered three things off of the menu and was only able to taste them before I felt full. LOL It was a good night for left overs. I took full advantage of feeling better. We shopped, we watched a movie (I even ate popcorn!), and we stayed up well past our bedtime for the first time since we had arrived in Dallas.
Friday was hectic! We headed home and mid drive, decided to change route to NWA to pick up some things (including a fridge) out of storage. We set up a last minute Uhaul truck and stayed up until 2am getting everything loaded and driving to Berryville, where we took up camp for two nights before finally arriving back home on Sunday.
It was an exhausting trip, but I was happy that we were able to get away and although we didn't get to go out and do much of anything, we felt blessed to have shared some time alone. :) I saw only ONE positive thing about being sick, while on vacation: At least we weren't sick AND trying to take care of three kids! :)
Life resumed on Monday...(I'll tell you all about that in my next post).
Right before spring break, the kids got a stomach bug and David and I got to enjoy said stomach bug, while we should have been enjoying our spring break vacation to Dallas. Speaking of spring break vacation... David and I were planning to go to Paris. We had planned our trip, site seeing and all, when I realized I never changed my name on my passport! UGH! The only way to get it rushed, was to drive to Hot Springs and pay triple for my passport, so I opted to wait. I know they say 6-8 weeks, but the first time I got my passport, it came within two weeks, so I was hopeful that the same thing would happen. Apparently March is a popular time for passport renewals and such because it did not come in time. :( We changed our plans last minute to Dallas. (Let me also add here that my passport came THE day before we left for Dallas and would have been leaving for Paris!)
We tried to have good attitudes about it. Dallas is ugly, but shopping is fun...and there's always Six Flags to cheer you up. This was going to be the highlight of my vacation because I have never been to Six Flags and I am an amusement park junkie! I could live at SDC, but we won't even go into all of that.
As we entered into gloomy Dallas, we were welcomed by storm clouds (which kept us away from Six Flags) and David's upset tummy (which kept us away from every where else!-lol). Thats right! What's vacation without a stomach bug?!
For the first two days, David was SICK! He slept all the way there and by Monday, we could finally eat a meal together. LOL Tuesday, the meals stopped abruptly when it was my turn to get sick! I have never been so sick in my life!
When David got sick, he FELT like he was going to be sick. He was miserable...nausea is the worst! But when I got sick, I GOT sick!!! Over the course of two days, I lost several pounds and tipped the housekeeping staff A LOT! I felt so bad that they had to clean up after me, but they wouldn't let me do it! They insisted. In the end, it was probably best, but I still wonder whether those sweet ladies got sick the next day...
On Wednesday, I was well enough to leave the hotel, but still couldn't eat yet. We went shopping, but even that wasn't enough to make me feel better. I spent half the day in the bathroom, trying to make sure I didn't throw up in front of an audience, but alas, no relief that day.
On Thursday, I was ready to get out! I finally felt hungry and I couldn't wait to stuff my face. My eyes were bigger than my shrunken stomach though. LOL I ordered three things off of the menu and was only able to taste them before I felt full. LOL It was a good night for left overs. I took full advantage of feeling better. We shopped, we watched a movie (I even ate popcorn!), and we stayed up well past our bedtime for the first time since we had arrived in Dallas.
Friday was hectic! We headed home and mid drive, decided to change route to NWA to pick up some things (including a fridge) out of storage. We set up a last minute Uhaul truck and stayed up until 2am getting everything loaded and driving to Berryville, where we took up camp for two nights before finally arriving back home on Sunday.
It was an exhausting trip, but I was happy that we were able to get away and although we didn't get to go out and do much of anything, we felt blessed to have shared some time alone. :) I saw only ONE positive thing about being sick, while on vacation: At least we weren't sick AND trying to take care of three kids! :)
Life resumed on Monday...(I'll tell you all about that in my next post).
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